We aren’t taught in school how to how to win back a lover who’s walked out on you. This particular subject unfortunately is only learned in the school of hard knocks. Getting a lover back can be frustrating and maddening at times, because unless you are dumped a lot, you’ve never had to learn through experience which methods work best. However, you can learn from the past mistakes of others and discover what worked for them so that you may get your lover back for good.

The first big mistake people make is to immediately chase after their ex when the breakup is still fresh. The problem with this is that emotions are still very raw at this stage and most people will ultimately push their lover away from them because they end up saying the wrong things. You need to take a break and cut off communication for a while, while you sort things out on your own.

When you are alone away from you ex, this is the time to work on yourself. Try to be kind to yourself and don’t dwell on the negative. If you know you did something that caused the breakup, you will still need to forgive yourself first before you can apologize to your ex. When it comes time to make contact, you must not still be feeling sorry for yourself, as this will drive you lover away instead of win them back.

If you’re having trouble feeling good while you’re alone, go out and be with some friends. This will break your pattern somewhat and you will be less preoccupied and obsessed with getting your ex back. It will also give you much needed self confidence when the time comes to make your first move to get your ex back.

If you were exercising regularly when you were together with your ex then don’t stop now, even if you don’t feel like working out. If you were never into working out before, now is a perfect time to start. Exercise will help you on many levels: the endorphins released during exercise will help you to feel better and boost your energy and the extra calories you burn will help you to avoid putting on weight which is common during a depressive episode.

If you’ve been dumped and want to win back your lover, you need to convince yourself that sitting around doing nothing will not help you in the slightest, and in fact will only serve to cause you more pain. The thing to do is take action - not only will this help you to feel better in the short term, you may actually win back your ex.

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